Lessons People Most Often Learn Too Late in Life

Most people follow the crowd.

They go to the same colleges everybody else goes to.

They’re applying for the same internships everybody else does.

They’re trying to land the same dream job everybody else is trying to land.

They buy the same cell phone, gadgets or whatever everybody else buys.

They want to buy houses in the same area everybody else wants to buy their houses.

They buy the same cars everybody else is buying.

So the competition gets tougher and tougher every single day. More and more people all around the globe start following the crowd. And they all want exactly the same things.

So the demand for a limited amount of jobs and assets increases every day. And with it the prices. Or the required skills for that job. The competition gets bigger and bigger. And there are no geographic boundaries to that competition any longer.

Still, most people want their kids to follow that path. They want their kids to be like them. To follow their lead. And their lead is, will and always has been to follow the crowd.

They just don’t know any better. Our parents don’t know any better. It worked for them a few decades ago. So they think it still works today. Until they realize that it doesn’t.

We follow the crowd because we don’t know any better. Because everybody told us to follow the crowd. That following the crowd will lead to a good career. A happy family. And a happy life.

Unfortunately, following the crowd got too crowded over the past few years.
It doesn’t really work anymore to just follow the crowd. It might still work for the top 1% though. But not just the top 1% of your city or country.

We’re now talking about the top 1% OF THE ENTIRE WORLD. The top 1% of the entire world wants exactly the same stuff you want. And all the others want it as well, of course. That job. That house. That happy family.

So you’re competing with all of them. And the top 1% are going to make it. They are the ones who are going to get it. They’ll get it all.

Are you among them? Are you among the top 1%? Globally? I don’t know.. whatever that top 1% might really mean. If it really means anything these days..

What I know for sure though is that I’m definitely not among them. If I’m lucky I might be a good average. That’s why I try to not follow the crowd anymore. Its gotten way too crowded. With way too many smart people.

People a lot smarter than me. I just wouldn’t be able to compete. And I don’t want to..

So I decided to not follow the crowd any longer. I decided to fill in the blanks instead. Well, first I started looking for the blanks. And then I started filling the blanks. The ones I thought needed to be filled. There’s no manual out there on how to find them. Or how to fill them.

That’s why filling the blanks is so tough. That’s why no one does it. That’s why everyone is following the crowd. To find the blanks is almost impossible. It takes many, many years to find that one blank. That one blank you might be able to fill.

It’s possible. But you need to find your blank first. And then you need to fill it.

Filling the blank happens at the intersection of finding something that nobody else is doing (or just a few people), something the world, people or corporations desperately need and something you really enjoy doing.

So is filling the blanks equal to following your passion?

No, not really. Because no one might need your passion. If you’re lucky your passion is something in need. Something people are willing to pay money for. And something no one else is doing, yet. But chances are quite slim that your passion is the same like the blank you could fill.

And once you found that blank you need to give yourself the time and permission to become really, really good at it. That’s a very important part people like to ignore.

And while you’re trying to become really, really good at it you shouldn’t quit your day job.You shouldn’t quit your day job if you didn’t check all of the above boxes. Or you should. I don’t know you. I don’t know what works for you and what doesn’t.

So instead of following the crowd, instead of competing with the crowd, try to find the blank you could fill. And once you found it, start filling it. Until you’ve become so good at it that it might pay the bills one day.

Maybe it will never pay the bills. And if it never does, you can still try the other stuff..

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Here Are 5 of The Most Powerful Ways to Stop Holding on to the Pain of the Past

Imagine life without the disorganised thoughts playing out inside your head. Imagine a state of peaceful thoughts which come and go like the ocean tides – without struggle, pain or resistance.

Are you holding on to painful memories which you find difficult to let go of? Many people remain unconscious to these memories until they overwhelm them.

Holding on to pain may be akin to clutching hot coal wishing that you don’t get burnt. Each time a painful memory is recalled, it is brought to life by inviting the past into the present.

Have you experienced a moment throughout the day, when for no apparent reason you are drawn into a bad mood? Mood swings represent the unconscious self recalling past memories.

When we least expect it negative emotions such as anger, frustration, anxiety and sadness emerge. For some people holding onto pain signifies a badge of honour – it identifies them as one who has been victimised. They wear their badge to mark their identity and as a means to justify their victimhood.

In order to harness the richness of life we must be willing to let go of our pain. We must drop the story that accompanies the pain. This begins with the desire to release the pain and suffering in order to allow the new, fresh and expansive energy of life to permeate through our being.

By no means does this underscore the gravity of what occurred in the past. You are choosing not to carry the burden of the pain in the present moment and future. When we identify with our pain, we view the world through a distorted lens.

Those fleeting moments of joy and happiness are lost to a mind which has spent years drawing on painful memories. You may have come across people who carry their victimhood with them.

They use any opportunity to go to war with others when life does not play their tune. I see this frequently while shopping. Whilst standing in line I notice there may be only one checkout operator processing customer’s purchases. The checkout operator grows distressed at the growing queue of people standing in line yet is unable to go any faster.

A person standing in queue quickly grows impatient for being made to wait more than necessary. Suddenly they incite tension among other shoppers by rallying those who identified with their plight.

This example is an all too common experience in everyday life. It illustrates how minor situations can derail us and cause mental and emotional unrest.

Who Would You Be Without Your Story?

“When we think we have been hurt by someone in the past, we build up defences to protect ourselves from being hurt in the future. So the fearful past causes a fearful future and the past and future become one. We cannot love when we feel fear…. When we release the fearful past and forgive everyone, we will experience total love and oneness with all.” ― Gerald G. Jampolsky

It takes a great deal of energy to keep the past alive. The mental and emotional resources required could be better spent on other rewarding life experiences. Over time and if left untreated, painful memories have the capacity to transform into psychosomatic illnesses.

Mental health professionals believe it takes approximately one and a half minutes for the body to process an emotion. Knowing this we needn’t hold onto mental and emotional pain from the past, nor do we need to carry it with us for years.

Simply dealing with the emotion as it arises allows it to move through the body in a shorter amount of time and without the long term physiological effects.

Oftentimes people hold on to their pain for so long that it forms a safety blanket. They would feel lost without the pain and suffering. Afterall, they would have no story to tell. Perhaps others might find them uninteresting.

Who would they be without their story?

Bad things happen to good people every day. They have happen to good people all throughout human history.

One need only look to the concentration camps in Nazi Germany during the war to see the devastation it had on the lives of so many innocent people. Despite the brutality, one man emerged in his personal statement against his aggressors.

Viktor Frankl’s quote highlights our power to transform external life’s events into meaningful personal victories. He reminds us: “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

In order to release your pain, make an inner declaration to choose peace, happiness and freedom – even if you don’t know how. Once you abide by this affirmation, the healing process has already begun and your unconscious mind will naturally move toward a state of peacefulness through your thoughts.

You owe it to yourself and your loved ones to release yourself from the mental prison that has held you captive all this time. I can assure you that life is far richer without the burden of pain memories.

The Real Story Of Your Authenticity

“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” — Alexander Graham Bell

Victims never heal – they simply carry the wounded victim title around showcasing it to people who will listen to their plight. It makes them feel acknowledged they have suffered an indignity.

Yet if you continue to feed and perpetuate this story, your mind naturally becomes accustomed to it by buying into it. That’s why affirmations work – anything repeated often and with emotional intensity has the power to transform the subconscious mind and thus bring life to the thought.

The mind thrives on creating a storyline to substantiate what it sees or experiences. Yet awareness has the experience well before the mind has had time to create a thought to validate it.

In his book Simply Notice: Clear Awareness Is the Key To Happiness, Love and Freedom, author Peter Francis Dziuban reinforces the idea of the mind seeking to add commentary to your life’s experiences: “Before something can clearly be seen or perceived for what it is, thinking is already adding judgements and commentary, acting like a smoke screen.”

Therefore if you constantly create a narrative around your emotional experiences, the mind creates a smoke screen as the author suggests to conceal what is really taking place beneath the surface.

In time the real self becomes obscured by this screen since you have bought in to a false facade instead of the real story of your authenticity.

To create a new and more empowering future requires that you create a space in your life to heal the past and release the pain.

In order to release the pain you must be willing to engage the following attributes towards carving out a path towards inner peace and freedom.

  • Commitment

“Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love?” — Leo Buscaglia

A person who has undergone mental and emotional trauma may find it difficult to let go of their suffering. They protect themselves by erecting an emotional barrier which distances them from having to feel the emotions again or relive the mental anguish of the pain.

Unfortunately the mind becomes astute at creating a barrier that in time it becomes impenetrable to deal with the emotional wounds. Your commitment to healing the past by letting go of these wounds if the first step in reconciling with the past.

The commitment heralds the process of facing the past by bringing unresolved issues to the surface in order to heal them. The challenge posed with honouring this commitment arises when confronting the pain, since this can be overwhelming at first.

We must take refuge that to heal the past we must be willing to push through the pain, since pain is where personal growth and healing resides.

Without it we continue to conceal the pain by using whatever means to keep us from facing the past. This may mean resorting to stimulants or unconducive behaviour which acts to distract us from the real issue.

Once the commitment is made, trust that your healing process had already begun through your willingness to face the past.

“I don’t regret difficulties I experienced; I think they helped me to become the person I am today. I feel the way a warrior must feel after years of training; he doesn’t remember the details of everything he learned, but he knows how to strike when the time is right.” — Paolo Coelho

Masking pain may work for the short-term, yet it does not address the underlying issue. It would be akin to applying band aid to a gushing wound hoping the blood would stop. The deep wound may require stitches and further medical care in order to properly heal.

Acknowledging the pain invites you to feel the emotions connected to the pain, rather than stuff them down hoping that will go away.

Remember: what you resist, persists.

The energy expended towards stuffing down unwanted emotions far exceeds the energy required to heal the emotion. Resistance is a stone wall which overshadows our best intentions to thrive and prosper.

We resist how life should unfold, since we are caught up in a mental and emotional battle to make sense of reality.

What if I told you there’s another way?

What if you did not have to carry the scars of the past with you any longer?

What if instead of waging battle against the currents of life, you simply went along with it?

In his book When Everything Changes, Change Everything, author Neale Donald Walsch offers us the wisdom that life is our soul’s calling towards its own self-discovery.

Those untoward events serve not to punish us, yet to reveal your deepest wisdom. Untoward events and circumstances do not need to happen TO YOU.

Dealing with discomfort and pain may be confronting, although life is cyclical and everything must come to an end; even pain. Therefore instead of running away from your emotions, lean into them by experiencing them fully.

This in itself will transform your fear, anxiety or anger. Let go of what you believe life owes you and step into your challenges.

Rise to them armed with courage and a compassionate heart. Maintain confidence that you have been presented with an experience from which to personally evolve.

  • Acceptance

“Only by acceptance of the past can you alter it.” — T.S. Eliot

Everyone encounters pain throughout their life. To sail through life without the contrasting emotional intensities would be to deny your personal growth. Character is formed under difficult circumstances, much like a diamond is formed under heat and pressure.

Pain and suffering begins in childhood and continues throughout life. What people do with inner wounds that stem from pain will determine their attitude and actions throughout life.

Inner wounds trigger some to persecute themselves. They believe, “I must deserve this” or “I’ll never be good enough” and yet it is this way of thinking which keeps them in a state of unworthiness.

We can be hard on ourselves since we fail to respect our past and its accompanying pain need not be viewed as scars any longer. You are not a wounded soul because of your emotional experiences. You become the wounded victim when you repeatedly use those wounds to deflect from attending to the real pain inside.

By accepting the past rather than run away from it, you build a bridge which connects to your future self. The future self delights in bringing you the emotional resources you need to heal this very moment instead of bringing the past and present baggage into the future.

Imagine taking a train ride from one side of the country to one another and insisting on stopping over in each city to pick up souvenirs. By the end of your journey not only would you be broke, the amount of energy required to haul your suitcases filled with souvenirs would be physically taxing.

So it is with holding on to your pain. Acceptance does not deny you the pain incurred, it merely shines a light on the cracks so as to integrate them back into the wholeness of your being.

  • Releasing

“The past was always there, lived inside of you, and it helped to make you who you were. But it had to be placed in perspective. The past could not dominate the future.”― Barbara Taylor Bradford, Unexpected Blessings

Emotional pain of the past can be held within the body if left unattended. A number of doctors have documented how emotions can cause a host of physical symptoms in the body.

Notably Dr John Sarno and Dr Don Colbert have written extensively on how toxic emotions have the capacity to manifest as physical pain.

They outline how emotions seek expression through you and if pushed down, will manifest in the body system. Releasing your emotional pain should be met with compassion. You are letting go of the pain and hurt with an open and loving heart in order to cleanse and make peace with the past.

The releasing process may be approached in a number of ways. For some working with a trained mental health professional might be the best decision so as to gentle release the pain gradually over time.

The skilled professional will deal with each situation individually, as some people may hold deeper emotional wounds than others, especially if there has been physical abuse. Others might turn to a spiritual leader within their community for healing. One’s faith in the healing process is paramount and will guide the person to gradually let go and surrender their emotional pain over time.

Mixed feelings may surface during the process as well as physical changes in the body, owing to the person purging themselves of the emotional burden carried all these years.

Dr Sarno describes healing back pain in hundreds of his patients who conveyed the emotions of anger and anxiety. Similarly Dr Colbert outlined how unforgiveness and betrayal had cause heart disease in a number of his patients who were unwilling to forgive.

As you release the emotional wounds of the past, a lightness fills your body and mind – a weight is shifted off your shoulders. This is the weight of carrying the disempowering emotions all this time.

  • Forgiveness

“The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time. And that’s why when one has become a forgiving person, and has managed to let go of the past, what they’ve really done is they’ve shifted their relationship with time.” — Caroline Myss

Forgiveness entails forgiving oneself as well as the other person. We are co-creators of our life’s experience. Acknowledging this means no longer having to play victim to all that transpires in our life.

There is power knowing life need not happen to us rather that it flows through us. As we create empowering choices which are aligned with our spiritual truth, we trust life functions perfectly within the container of universal wisdom.

We have faith that each experience serves a purpose in our personal evolution and once the lesson has been attained, we release and surrender it with openness to what will fill its place.

Your belief that you have performed “bad” actions in the past and the ensuing guilt is a flawed assumption which must be examined. A bad act does not define someone as being bad.

Your natural state consists of wholeness and goodness since you were not conceived in the image of evil. It is your thinking which discolours your perception that a bad act in the past must be punished accordingly.

Therefore as you heal the inner conflict contained within the inaccurate belief, you see self-forgiveness is possible and you need not persecute yourself any longer.

Furthermore if you search deeper within you will see that your intentions at the time were vested in self-preservation.

Our actions arise from the human instinct to take care of oneself at all times, therefore your actions were imbued with self-love rather than harm to others. Self-forgiveness should be viewed as a process which gradually opens the door to healing and allows us to surrender to life enacting her will through us.

We invite the healing energy of love which resides within us to permeate throughout our being. It is always there yet we conceal it by perpetuating a false myth of our guilt instead of our innocence.

5 Lessons People Most Often Learn Too Late in Life

  1. Life is short. Everyone knows the end is inevitable but few realize how close we are the day we are born. Realizing “Life is Short” will promote the appropriate sense of urgency. Start your bucket list at birth if you want to complete it. You only have one life and there’s not much time left in it.
  2. Get it Done Young. The sooner you accomplish your goals, the longer you can reap the rewards. Graduating college at 40 leaves fewer years to enjoy the salary increase. Buying a house young, pay it off earlier. Children, the sooner you have them the more time you get with them.
  3. Take Care of Your Body. The aging process will wreak havoc on your body regardless. Don’t assist the process with bad habits like smoking, drinking, overeating and avoiding exercise.
  4. Start Saving Money Early. Compound interest is your best friend but you have to start early to make it work. The Concept Of Compounding. If you save $50 per month at age 21, with a modest 5% interest rate, you will have about $80,000 at age 60. If you start at 39, you will have half as much.
  5. The Things that Matter Most Won’t for Long! This is a hard lesson. That band you start at 18 will be forgotten by age 25. That company you devote your life to will lay you off at the drop of a hat. I cannot stress enough this lesson. That BMW will eventually be worthless. When you are 50 it will not matter what you drove at 35. You cannot buy enough stuff that doesn’t matter to make you happy. Try to make every decision after answering, “Does it REALLY matter?”

The Lowest Point of My Life

There are few things that can qualify for this, but I am going to talk about the time with my friend Anshu Gupta, in the first year of our college life.

This is not a eulogy, don’t consider it to be one, because I am sure he won’t like it.

Let me begin from the start, I knew Anshu from standard 10th and we became good friends in class 11. He was a brilliant, cheerful, and most of all humble guy with the worst handwriting in the world. I have had people tell me that my writing is illegible, but he was certainly much worse than me, which made me feel slightly better. He was a skilled right winger, and a good batsman/bowler. There was nobody that I knew till then who was as good at mathematics as he was. We would ask him, “Hey, Anshu what is the 24th root of 196 to two decimal places”, and he would work it out in less than a minute. Correctly. He was full of optimism. We were all prepping for JEE and I asked him, once when we were studying together, what would happen if we didn’t get selected? He replied, “We’ll try next year”. I asked what if we didnt get selected the next year too. And he laughed at me and said, ” C’mon! ANYONE can get selected in 2 years, don’t underestimate yourself.” That was the kind of person that he was.

I clearly remember the first time he fainted on the football field. Hauntingly so, it was I who tackled him. I also, being the idiot that I was (and am), boasted of the fact that I had caused him to lose consciousness. I didn’t know then that those words would come back to torture me someday.

I remember the time we all went to Campion school for our Brilliant Tests and the desperately fought football matches during the lunch time between tests. I remember the fights and the discussions regarding football and practically everything that exists on this planet. I remember his most oft-repeated lines, the tunes of “Roobaroo” the Rang-Dey-Basanti song(his favorite) and his unrhythmic rendition of it that we all used to make fun of, I remember the celebration when we all found out we were all going to be in IIT Kharagpur. I keep remembering and the memories keep coming… they are rich in detail and almost make me forget the loss.

Anshu was at NSS camp where he played cricket on a hot summer day.
He collapsed as he had done so many times before as well. There was no emergency services for miles.  I remember the day as never before now. The frantic phone calls from friends , the running to B.C.Roy Hospital  and trying to get things organised ,watching him being carried inside, trying to scream some life into him, trying to talk to his father while everybody else around me was hysterical. He survived long enough to be taken to the hospital at IIT Kharagpur and we watched from the window to the OR as the doctors tried to revive him, in vain.

Have you ever have had a cracker explode too near your ear? The whole inside of your brain goes numb and there is a strange solemn silence among the chaos.  Like a spear that has been thrust so fast and true, that the pain is still to come. Like ice and fire.

I know my pain is nothing as compared to what his family and relatives may have felt. Maybe I had not even felt a fraction of there suffering. I know this, that was the day I lost a very good friend. A friend I would have had for life. A friend I would have gladly been there for.

Often, in times of despair, the thought occurs, could I have done something to save him, I ask and I ask and I keep asking; but there is no answer. Could he have done something to save himself, again there is that numbing silence.

That was one of the lowest points of my life.

May the Almighty give peace to his soul.
May the Almighty give peace and solace to his family.
Amen

For a Male, What Are the 10 Things We Must Know Before Getting Married?

  1. Prenuptial Agreement – Some people are afraid of discussing this but it must be addressed! Know beforehand whether one of these agreements are for you. You and your spouse should be on the same page on this before you get married. You don’t want to bring something like this to the table after the fact.
  2. Who You Are – I’m still in my early twenties and I’ve noticed that I seem to change drastically with each passing year. My 30 year old cousin told me that the person I am at age 20 will be a completely different person at age 25 and a completely different person at age 30. Sometimes it’s difficult for couples who marry young because as they age together they grow apart and become different people.
  3. Your Life’s Goals – You should have a rough idea of what you are striving for in life. It isn’t a good idea to bring someone into your life when you don’t know what you are doing with yours yet!
  4. What You Are Looking For – Before getting married you should know exactly what you are looking for in someone you want to spend your life with. What traits do you desire in your potential spouse? What traits do you refuse accept in your potential spouse?
  5. Children – You should know if having kids is in the plan for you and your partner. It would be a shame if you get married and both of you are on opposite ends of the spectrum on this issue!
  6. Living Situation – Sort out your living situation. Where will the two of you live and under what circumstances? Sometimes couples break up because they can’t decide on what city they should live in, especially if they are both from different ones.
  7. FINANCES! – This is huge. We need to remember that marriage is not simply about love. Marriage is partially a business transaction as well. You need to know how the two of you will manage your finances together. Plenty of marriages end not because of love but because of financial instability.
  8. Your Spouse’s Family – When you get married you are not only marrying your partner in crime, but you are marrying their family as well. If you despise your spouse’s family, don’t think that you can get married and find ways to avoid her side of the family.
  9. Trust – How well do you trust your spouse? Like seriously. If you find yourself constantly invading their privacy (checking emails, text messages, etc.) when they aren’t looking you aren’t ready to marry them. Relationships are built on trust and without it it it will inevitable crumble.
  10. Do You Love Them? – Stop and really ask yourself if you love the person you are considering getting married to. Do you love them or do you love the idea of them? Loving someone is a choice you make each and every day. If this isn’t something you are willing to do for the rest of your life for someone then marrying that person isn’t the right choice.

I’ve Been So Used to Feeling Depressed That Being Happy for Long Periods of Time Makes Me Uncomfortable

Depression for me has been like that ratty pair of pajama pants you put on at the end of the day. You haven’t washed them in ages, there are holes in inappropriate places, and you know you ought to just toss them. But it’s so comfortable, and if you’re being honest, you’d rather wear them all day, every day.

At some point, you’ve been wearing those pants for so long that you don’t even notice how ratty they are. You don’t realize that they’re not your favorite pants anymore – you’re wearing them out of habit. You’ve seen some new pants that LOOK comfy and are your style, but it would take energy and money you don’t have to go out and buy them. Plus, the old ones have been through a lot with you. It would feel uncomfortable to wear anything different at this point, even if you’d be happy (in some respect) with something new.

It takes a lot of effort, but maybe one day, you buy those new pants. You’re a step closer to change, even though you don’t wear the new pair right away. The old pants know your worst aspects, and there’s comfort in that.

Eventually, you can wear the new pants for a few minutes at a time. Then a few hours. You might get through a whole day in them. But you still don’t feel truly at home until you slip on the old ones.

After a few wearings and washings, the new pants don’t feel so foreign anymore. You’re starting to figure out how they fit into your life. One day, you come across the old pants in the bottom of a drawer and think, “Man, these are so comfy, but they’re falling apart!” You wear them again anyway. But maybe you notice you don’t like them as much as you once did.

Some day, you’ll be able to recognize that a particular sadness isn’t helping you. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll never be able to throw it out, and that’s okay – depression has its place in life too.

Just don’t live in it.

Did You Ever Witness Someone Throw Away Their Life?

I’ve seen this happen more than once. Once, when I was a Product Manager in charge of a product line we made the mistake of promoting an Engineer into Marketing. As soon as he put on that white shirt and tie he suddenly thought he was “somebody”. From a demure, curious Engineer he became an imperious Know-it-all who knew nothing and embarrassed himself. But then it got worse. He attended some day-trading seminar and now he was going to get rich overnight. He was on the phone with his broker constantly, buying and selling and never completing his assigned tasks. We had lost all respect for him.

But the worst came when we were sent to a trade show in Las Vegas. He showed up at the booth without a belt. Our management considered us under-dressed at the office if we wore sport coats instead of two piece suits and he was showing up to attend customers without a belt. Our manager was aghast. They sent him out to buy a belt. He missed the first four hours of the show. But it got worse. We were in Las Vegas and when the booth closed he hit the tables. He was there all night, losing money by the thousands. When the show opened the next day he didn’t show up for two hours and when he did show up it was in the same clothes. He was unshaven and reeked of booze. He looked like Hell and he was shaken. He had lost so much money he couldn’t think straight. The boss sent him to get cleaned up. He never returned. He went back to the tables. By the end of the show he had lost his house. He was a wreck on the plane going home. He had no idea what he was going to tell his wife. The following work day he showed up in his suit and tie – and the boss and HR were waiting for him. He was walked out within minutes. In less than a week he had lost all his savings, his house and his job. I never saw anyone so broken in so short a time.

Another time I worked with a crackerjack engineer who was a non-conformist. This was well-accepted in the company and is usually tolerated in most companies. But as the company’s fortunes waned he became more and more erratic. The company was in a death spiral and it seemed to affect him deeply. People were bailing left and right but he had been there for 17 years and it was his life. The products he built were like his children. He was way too invested in the ongoing success of the company and he railed against anyone and everyone whom he thought was impeding the success of the company. The problem was that the products were too weak, the competition too strong and the sales force too incapable. In addition, Management was absolutely clueless.

In a few short years we had spiraled downhill from well over 120 million dollars annually to about 20 million and falling fast. I was on my way out along with anyone who still had even half a clue – the writing was on the walls. There was no way to save this pig. And then we needed him to go onsite to talk to our last big customer, the one customer who was keeping the company solvent. He was needed to explain how we would incorporate the features they needed. In fact, there was never any plan to do what they wanted – we no longer had the ability to accomplish it and make a profit so the goal was to stall them or convince them why they didn’t need the features. But when we were all sitting around the table with the customer, on their site, and he was asked to speak, he said, “What the hell is wrong with you people? You’re suckers. We’re never going to make these changes. Ever. Get used to it.”

Did You Ever Witness Someone Throw Away Their Life?

I have never seen such a meltdown in front of a customer before. Silence reigned. What can you say after that? The meeting broke up. He was fired instantly – but he couldn’t understand why. When HR came to his office, he locked the door and refused to leave. We had to call the police. He had to be physically carried from the building. It was not a building with card-keys, but with a real tumbler lock and he had keys. We had to change all the locks on the building. He would try to enter the building through the loading dock and sneak back to his office and do work. The police were called more than once. His wife would come and take him away. When he couldn’t get in he would hang around the door with his big dogs and frighten the hell out of the employees. Legal action finally had to be taken. He was mentally destroyed. He eventually got a job as the most junior technician at some other failing company. He was no longer capable of functioning as the senior electrical engineer he had once been.

The Most Important Things in Life

It’s not the amount of money in your bank account. It’s not the car that’s in your driveway. It’s not the number of pairs of shoes you have in your closet.

Yet, why is it that many people make these trivial nothings their main focus in life? Remember, when you die, you can’t bring your expensive BMW with you.

Would you be content telling your children that you trade your most valuable asset (TIME), your happiness, AND your health to work some job that you hate, surrounded by people you hate all for a small sum of money?

Sorry, not me.

I’m going to break down the things that matter the most at the end of the day:


Health. Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.”

  • By far, my health and well-being are the most important aspects of my life. I make health and nutrition my primary focus every day, and so should you.

 

  • I’d much rather be broke and healthy than to be rich and sick.

 

  • Health brings a freedom very few realize until they no longer have it.

 

  • Imagine your body as a high-performance sports car like a Lamborghini or a Ferrari. Anyone who owns one of these beautiful machines knows that they require only the most high-grade fuel. Our bodies are no different.

 

  • If you don’t fuel your body with the nutrients it desires on a daily basis, it will perform like a broken-down Honda from the 80’s. Sure, it still runs, but good luck getting on the freeway with that thing!

 

  • Try starting every morning with a green smoothie packed with highly nutritious fruits, vegetables, seeds and nuts.

Happiness. “Happiness is a journey, not a destination.”

  • What most don’t realize is that happiness is a choice. It’s the choice you make every morning when you wake up and when you put your head on your pillow at night.

 

  • Are you unhappy with your job right now? Choose to do something about it. Are you unhappy with where you live? Choose to relocate or move elsewhere. Are you unhappy with your financial situation? Choose to start building your dream and stop building someone else’s.

 

  • The number one regret people have on their deathbed is: “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” When people realize that their life is almost over and look back on it, it is easy to see how many dreams and visions have gone unfulfilled.

 

  • I get seasonal depression, so I chose to relocate to Mexico for my winter months. Many say I’m lucky and that they wish they could do the same. I always ask them, “What’s stopping you?” I’m in no way lucky. I chose to make reading and perfecting my skills a priority. I chose to pursue an online job so that I could make money working from anywhere in the world.

 

  • Start making better choices, and you’ll be surprised with how fast happiness will flow to you. Fear is the only thing holding you back.

Family. “You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.”

  • When you accomplish something great, who is always there to congratulate you? When something terrible happens to you, who can you turn to for advice and support?

 

  • Friends will come and go from your life, but your family is FOREVER.

 

  • They will always have your back, no matter what. They want only the best for you and would do anything to make it that way.

 

  • I am eternally grateful for my family. Without the love and support I’ve received from my amazing mother and father, I would not be the man that I am today.

What is the Most Embarrassing Text Message You Have Sent to the Wrong Person?

I sent this picture to a woman I’d just met a few days earlier in a sort of professional context:

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What is it? (The recipient in fact asked a variant of that very question.) It’s a picture of my 14-year-old daughter’s foot, of course, with change tucked into a pocket of peeling skin. Because we could. I’d intended to text this to our family group chat.

The peeling is not the result of some dread disease. She had used a foot peel product, and we were marveling at the size of the sheets of skin that she was able to remove.

What is Your Biggest Mistake or Regret?

My parents and I were watching TV together before going to bed, this was typical. My mother was usually somewhat drunk by this time from sipping wine so occasionally me or my dad would help her inside (the tv room was in the backyard and you had to walk outside up some steps to get to the house). I was slightly annoyed with my mom for reasons I cannot remember. My dad got up to go to bed so I followed not wanting to be left out there with my mom. Both my dad and I were brushing our teeth when we heard a loud noise. We nonchalantly went outside to find my mother laying on the ground at the bottom of the concrete steps. She was unconscious for about 30 seconds, so we took her to the hospital. She was in the ICU for about week with the nurses telling us she was getting better and there were no serious damages. We then got a call she was brain dead and had to come to the hospital to give permission for them to take her off life support. How did this happen? I thought they said she was going to be fine. My mother died a day later while in a surgery donating her organs. My biggest regret in life is neglecting to help her into her bed that night, if I had she would still be alive.