My bong, buster, all my bud, papers, everything. I did this once before, back in July, and only lasted a couple of weeks. The problem is that I’m in Canada and it’s so easy for me to walk in the liquor store and get pre-rolls and packaged buds.
Yesterday morning, I woke up with a full plate of things to do. Instead, I decided to wake and bake. This has been a trend for a couple years now, to the point that I have no social life anymore, and barely even know my friends.
I’m so sick of feeling the dependency of something external. I’m sick of having to smoke before I eat. Before I play video games. Before I go to bed. Before I start my day. Luckily I never got high before work, but the second work was over I would get high. I’m sick of feeling the haze all the time. Not being able to concentrate 100% on the task at hand.
I’m sick of having great ideas and lofty plans only for me to procrastinate and smoke instead. Or wake up the next day and not want to do anything because the post-high shit feeling the next day makes me so lazy.
I hate how when I’m on weed I feel like I don’t want to do it anymore, but when I’m sober I crave it so bad. I need to prove to myself that I have more self-control than this and that I have control over my own life.
I just needed to get all of this out before I explode. Here’s to last more than 2 weeks this time.