As a pastry chef, I hate when people ask me to make these. So I thought I’d take a moment to commemorate my feelings 🙂
- It’s a waste of my time. Why not get something from the supermarket? Your infant is not going to know the difference.
- It’s a waste of my ingredients. We use things like real vanilla bean, local dairy, farm eggs– pretty high-quality stuff to decorate a high chair and the floor around it.
- Since no one’s going to actually eat it, mombies don’t want to pay regular cake prices. But also don’t want to just get a cheap one from the grocery store, and instead expect me to spend an hour decorating a handcrafted cake for $12 because “it’s for a baby.”
- I don’t need to hear stories about your infant.
- I don’t need to see pictures of it.
- I really don’t need to be tagged in pictures of the aftermath on Facebook I mean FFS people, lol.
- Great here come all her mombie friends wanting a copycat cake for their baby to smash with their gross frosting-covered hands, I’m running out back someone just tell them I’m busy that day.
- Wait did I end up on some sort of local mommy message board?
- Can I do this in pink with sprinkles but without sugar I don’t like my baby to have sugar.
- On a lake, in the woods, I sit across from my love, enjoying our childfree retirement. A pigeon descends, and I see a small strip of paper tied haphazardly to its leg. “oH dO YoU dO sMaSh cAkEs?”